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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2008|09:08 pm]
Jesus Christ! I have no life now. Like seriously, no life. I  am bored to death. The only thing I do at home is stay in my room, and the only thing I do in my room is to use this god damn computer.

Today I was listening to 987fm, they were discussing "what is one thing that you regret in life". Some said married too young, some said marry too old, some said going for an abortion, and then this stupid idiot called to say she regrets for being"addicted to computer games". And that struck me. I am in the same boat. So the DJ asked, "so what happened if you don't play the computer game? Do you pass out and foam comes out of your mouth?" which made me laugh real hard.
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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2008|11:26 pm]
Oh my god people are seriously pissing me off today. Maybe it is because my period is coming soon also and I am having PMS. In the morning, A came and talked to me and began criticising my photograph. I will copy and paste the exact words.

hey i just saw the pic... wat wrong with u

u look drunk, stockings n a bottle....

u ok?

ohhhh..

yr photographer not gd la

does not know his models angles

its nt a photographer

wah then u noe ar

i know la of coz

this kind of B/W momchrome pictures m angles are imprtant

lighting also

also yr models placement in that shot, u too extreme left.. should move like 20% to the left only

hiya next time u model for me la...

then i show u

i bring my own sylist for u

i think u look gd in dresses la

not pants n jeans


I don't know how come some people can be so ignorant and spit words out without thinking. Firstly, it is taken by my friend who is not even a photographer. We weren't trying to come up with a calibre photograph. We didn't even had any lightings, just the normal ceiling light. The camera wasn't even set to monochrome, I photoshopped it myself. I also cropped the photograph so that I will appear on the extreme left. But what pisses me off is the last few sentences. Telling me what I should wear and what I shouldn't wear indirectly. Really man, I felt l like I was talking to a narrow-minded retard.

So after that, I was complaining to V about him....said he annoyed me and I hate ***ians ( i didnt mean it). And guess who i fucking sent it to! TO A. Goodness me. He sent me a message that said "think you send to the wrong person". Ok this is quite hilarious. It's good that he knows anyway so that he will know not to talk BIG next time. He was also being weirdly calm about the whole message. That means obviously, he knows he is in the wrong too.

At work I had to make phone calls and this particular customer was scolding me over the phone. It's really lame because she is like scolding the telephone because I haven't met her and she has not met me before. That didn't bother me, but what bothered me was that when Candy (the designer) asked her what happened, SHE PUT WORDS INTO MY MOUTH. She said I told her to contact Candy by herself and she got pissed off. Jeez.

After work, I went to Zara to get my flats. I reserved a pair of sandals yesterday night because the left side was missing and they had to find it. So I went to the store and enquired if my sandals are ready. My god, the bloody sales girl is so damn fucking rude, its beyond words. Worst thing is that she is a YAL. MY GOD I REALLY HATE YALs I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE MY GROWING HATRED FOR THEM. I politely asked if my sandals are ready so she went to find it. It really wasn't much of a hassle because I was at the counter and they keep reserved stuffs at the counter. So she saw the one-sided sandal and she remembered what happened because she was the same sales girl I spoke to last night. She looked at me in this annoyed way and asked "did anyone call you?" and gave me a look like as if I was retarded. I said "no" and she stared at me for 5 seconds and I stared at her and then said "i told you we will call you if we find it right?". OK ITS NOT THEIR INTENTION THT PISSES ME OFF BUT ITS THE CHOICE OF WORDS AND TONE AND LOOK. My god this is unbelievable.  So I asked "oh so how long do you take to find it?" and she began explaining that most probably someone took the wrong size and bought it blabla. MY GOD I READ XIAXUE'S ENTRY ABOUT THT CHAOS SHOP SALES GIRL AND I CANT HELP BUT TO AGREE WITH HER. MOST ARE ALL THE SAME. JEEZ
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(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2008|02:33 am]
Was looking through my old messages in my inbox...Wondering why the nicest guys can turn into total asshole just like that.
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(no subject) [Sep. 16th, 2008|09:51 pm]
I have said this a thousand times but I keep forgetting it. I hate my family. No matter what they do they are fucking biased.
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(no subject) [Aug. 23rd, 2008|04:37 pm]
oh my god yesterday work was like shit. it started out with a shitty day to begin with. it was raining and i had to go all the way back to school just to hand in 3 receipts and i was sooo tired so i just took a cab and that costs me 15$. if that is not enough, i received a message that everyone has to go find my "favourite" teacher to get our grades back. it was a stupid moment, she acted nice, i acted nice. after that i went to work.

friday nights are the busiest and everyone is stressed but still nice, except for this stupid indian malaysian guy called FUCKING KUMAR. like seriously, who the fuck does he thinks he is. when i make mistakes, he is always scolding me and embarassing me in front of the customers.  hello? its my bloody 4th day at work only. i bet i did a far more better job than you or anyone else. plus, its quite funny because its my 4th day, and the staffs have been badmouthing about you to me already. the sound of his voice makes me feel like crushing him. the way he taps me on my shoulder when there is anything is soo painful. i feel like asking him to fuck off. and i did.

i dont like such disgusting species touching me so when he pushed my hand at the counter in order to get his bloody receipt, i pushed him back. and the fight started. it was so funny. he got scolded "fuck you" by sreja on monday, and today he got scolded by me, a newbie who worked there for barely a week. what is quite funny is that he stressed that i shouldn't do that because he is my "senior". i laughed out loud. sorry i dont pay no respect to anyone who has a bad attitude. i rather be nice to someone new than someone who has a higher rank in a place but has a sucky attitude. furthermore, fortunately, unlike him, my life doesnt depend on working in a FUCKING BAR. so there we were, exchanging  loud "fucks" with each other in front of the customers. when he says "fuck you", i told him to "fuck off" and vice versa for a couple of times. until he couldn't stand it and he said ok we shall talk to the manager. YES GO AND TALK. BECAUSE AS I SAID, MY LIFE DOESNT DEPEND ON THIS JOB. one complain from me about you and you will die i swear. remember, i am trained on giving speeches while you, trained on washing bar toilets. we didnt talk in the end, quite sad. bet he doesnt dare to do it.

when i graduate from school, im sooo going back to Harry's to spit on that fucking kumar's face. just like fish&co. i enjoy giving a hard time to the staffs whenever i eat there because i worked there before and was treated like shit before also.  trust me i will. no wait, i dont even have to wait till i graduate, im going to intern nearby soon. ya, just wait you FUCKING DARK KUMAR.

oh yeah, that wasn't all. they kept asking me to work till closing. which i did, because i wanted to experience it. they told me that closing is till 1AM with transport, and you know what time i got back? 3AM BY A CAB MYSELF. but thank god my lucky hand waved me a limo cab again and it made my mood happier by a bit. technically, the bar closes at 2am. but we can close the bar earlier if there is nobody. unfortunately, there was a group of annoying people still drinking and kept matchmaking me with that ugly skinny dude in glasses and giving me a hard time. so i was just waiting for THEM to drink till they are happy. and NO I DON'T WAIT FOR PEOPLE. after that, i realised that we have to walk all the way to boat quay for the transport, which is a van with other staffs working at harry's. no way am i jumping into a small enclosed area with unknown people at 3am in the fuckin morning. i have a college who also stays in the east so i thought its not so bad because at least i know someone, but he disappeared to go to buy macdonalds and i didnt know where is he. and also, unfortunately the 4 staffs who worked till closing were malays except me. they were turning on malay music and talking in malay and i was sitting beside them. seriously, i thought this will end after i graduate from secondary school. the bar is filth, just like secondary school. can't they have more courtesy to at least not turn on malay music? so then i went to talk to my malay manager's girlfriend who is a chinese. and she feels me. she said "they talk you can't understand right? it's like that, get used to it". ARGH like seriously why am i working in such a shit hole. but i love it, i love challenging myself.

what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. maybe that is why i am so independent emotionally haha. i wanna see how long i can last in that $%Y^*) ghetto shit hole.
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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2008|12:27 am]
IT IS OK I WILL LOSE YOU! I LOVE LOSING PEOPLE!
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(no subject) [Aug. 4th, 2008|09:01 pm]

do not fret

do not chase after

eventually it will come to you

unexpectedly

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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2008|01:33 am]
I Will Possess Your Heart
How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read - just yet
You gotta spend some time--love, you gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find--love, I will possess your heart (x2)

There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective, when we'll be lovers, lovers at last
You gotta spend some time--love, you gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find--love, I will possess your heart(x2)

I will possess your heart (x2)

You reject my advances and desperate pleas
I won't let you, let me down so easily, so easily

You gotta spend some time--love, you gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find--love, I will possess your heart (x3)

I will possess your heart (x2)

A Movie Script Ending
Whenever i come back, the air on railroad is making the same sounds.
And the shop fronts on holly are dirty words (asterisks in for the vowels).
We peered through the windows... new bottoms on barstools but the people remain the same, with prices inflating.

As if saved from the gallows.
There's a bellow of buzzers and the people stop working and they're all so excited.

Passing through unconscious states.
When i awoke i was on the highway.

With your hand on my shoulders, a meaningless movement... a moviescript ending,
And the patrons are leaving, leaving.

Now we all know the words were true in the sappiest songs (yes, yes).
I'll put them to bed, but they won't sleep, they're just shuffling the sheets, they toss and turn,
(you can't begin to get it back).

Passing through unconscious states.
When i awoke i was on
The onset of a later stage... the headlights are beacons on the highway.

Title and Registration
The glove compartment isn't accurately named
And everybody knows it.
So i'm proposing a swift orderly change.

Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all i find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

I was searching for some legal document
As the rain beat down on the hood
When i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
And that's how this idea was drilled into my head

Cause it's too important
To stay the way it's been

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night (up all night)
When i'm lying awake at night.





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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2008|01:28 am]
Like Eating Glass
It's so cold in this house

Open mouth swallowing us
The children staying home from school
Will not stop crying

And I know that you're busy too
I know that you care
You got your finger on the pulse
You got your eyes everywhere
And it hurts all the time when you don't return my calls
And you haven't got the time to remember how it was
It's so cold in this house
It's so cold in this house

I can't eat, I can't sleep
I can't sleep, I can't dream
An aversion to light
Got a fear of the ocean

Like drinking poison, like eating glass

It's so cold in this house
Come and show me how it was

We've got crosses on our eyes
Been walking into the walls again
We've got crosses on our eyes
Been walking into the furniture
We've got crosses on our eyes
For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse
We've got crosses on our eyes
We've been walking into the furniture

Helicopter
North to south
Empty
Running on
Bravado
As if to say, as if to say
As if to say, he doesn't like chocolate
He's born a liar, he'll die a liar
Some things will never be different

Stop being so American
There's a time and there's a place
So James Dean
So blue jeans
Gonna save the world
He's gonna

Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?

Three out of five, three out of five (it's not enough)
Six out of ten
Better luck next time
Just like his Dad, just like his Dad (the same mistakes)
Some things will never be different
Hungry and dumb, hungry and dumb (so wait in line)
Queuing up for some more junk food
It's not my fault, it's not my fault (just this once)
They're getting so much younger

Why can't you be more European
Bastard child of guilt and shame
Bury your head in the sand
I'm thinking six, six, six
I'm thinking six

Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?
Are you hoping for a miracle?

It's not enough.






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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2008|01:15 am]
Rape Me
Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me again

I'm not the only one, IIIII [3x]
I'm not the only one...

Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Rape me, my friend

I'm not the only one, IIIII [3x]
I'm not the only one...

My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
I appreciate your concern
You're gonna stink and burn

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me, again

I'm not the only one, IIII [3x]
I'm not the only one...

Rape me! (Rape me!)[8x]
Rape me!

Scentless Apprentice
Like most babies smell like butter
His smell smelled like no other
He was born scentless and senseless
He was born a scentless apprentice

Go away - get away, get a-way

Every wet nurse refused to feed him
Electrolytes smell like semen
I promise not to sell your perfumed secrets
There are countless formulas for pressing flowers

Go away - get away, get a-way

I lie in the soil and fertilize mushrooms
Leaking out gas fumes are made into perfume
You can't fire me because I quit!
Throw me in the fire and I won't throw a fit

Go away - get away, get away, get away, get away, get away, get a-way

Come As You Are
Come
As you are
As you were
As I want you to be
As a friend
As a friend
As a known memory
Take your time
Hurry up
The choice is your
Dont be late
Take a rest
As a friend
As a known memory
Memory ah
Memory ah
Memory ah

Come
Doused in mud
Cept in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend
A a friend
As a known memory ah
Memory ah
Memory ah
Memory ah

And I swear
That I dont have a gun
No I dont have a gun
No I dont have a gun

Memory ah
Memory ah
Memory ah
Memory ah {dont have a gun}

And I swear
That I dont have a gun
No I dont have a gun
No I dont have a gun
No I dont have a gun
No I dont have a gun

{memory ah}
{memory ah}





CANT BELIEVE SOMEONE LIKE KURT COBAIN SO FUCKING HOT SO FUCKING TALENTED IS DEAD! I HATE THE WORLD!
haha joking i dont hate the world
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